The Transition Back

I've been home a little over a week and its strange to be back. I'm glad to be home and need the rest but it's strange.

I've enjoyed getting my haircut, going out to dinner in restaurants where there aren't armed guards and seeing all the choices in the grocery store. Being able to drive, walking outside and being able to make eye contact again with people on the street was something I didn't realize I missed so much. The color here is amazing and its not even autumn. Kabul is brown, year round. When we drive, I can see houses; in Kabul all the houses are surrounded by 12 foot high walls and barb wire. Did I mention how much I enjoy the lack of dust? The simple things that I used to take for granted, all have new meaning. For example, I really enjoy not having to brush my teeth with bottled water!

Being home has brought some challenges as well. I'm not the same person I was when I left a year ago. Its hard to quantify the ways I've changed, just like it's hard for my friends and family to tell me how they have changed over the year. Its easy to talk about the new technology and fashion trends but on the inside I feel different.

It's like I have two separate lives both with equally important aspects to it. My friends in Kabul became my family, there is a closeness in our relationship because no one else experienced what we did. I miss them. I can't wait until their home and we can joke about how bazaar it is to transition back to civilization because I feel like an alien in my own country.

Keep Smiling!

Reflections

I'm getting ready to head home for my annual leave, after 11 months we get 30 vacations days. I am so excited to get home for such a long period of time. I cannot articulate the feelings; its both exciting and a little intimidating. Exciting because it will be so wonderful to be with friends and family, intimidating because life here is different - like being on another planet kind of different. Either way, I am looking forward to being on vacation and being home. Hope coming back isn't hard.

When I look back, in some ways, it feels like I arrived yesterday. Yet in other ways I feel like I have been here for a life time. We've been talking these last few weeks about lists -"to-do lists", "bucket lists" and lists of joys. In the spirit of knocking things off my to-do list, I decided to list my blog entry this week would be reflections of the year.

• Aug - 3 weeks of training, say good-bye to friends and family. Crazy man on plane who yelled at me b/c I took his overhead compartment, leave my pictures in Heathrow.
• Sept – US army arrive at the house, start to decorate my new apartment. First time on Cipro. Begin to learn the names of the 100 staffers who report to me.
• Oct – 7.2 earth quake, UN guest House attacked, kangaroo room incident. Tense situation at a checkpoint. Trip to Istaliff, CNN visits hospital
• Nov - Explosion on my birthday, can't go for brunch. Meet new people at weekly BBQ's. Thanksgiving at Army base, no power for 4 days, up late writing a proposal with the team.
• Dec – 4 of us have to go to Dubai to get a visa, 2 weeks of running the hospital by myself because everyone else was on leave, had a skype Christmas, learned how to play poker, vacationed in Dubai, moved
• Jan – spend New Years in the dessert, have to get another visa in Dubai, had vertigo and passed out in the shower.
• Feb – Move, freezing cold, begged for a cook, got over my fear of lighting gas things, basking lunches at the French Cafe.
• March – NICU overflows, weather changes, team members back, different team member leaves, surprise friendships
• April – volcano, surprise trip home, find grenade at hospital, roses blooming in the garden
• May – Explosion 200 yards away, new volunteer arrives, dollar decreases, networking dinner for Fistula
• June – more visa issues, unusual staff requests, advocate for raises, peace Jirrga, ring of steel signs, ants in the kitchen
• July - 4th of July in Dubai, new visa, Fistula Hostile almost completed, new boundaries, Kabul Conference...a time of reflection.

See ya soon.

Keep Smiling!

Lady Taxi

I'm in Dubai to try and renew my visa. The contrast between Dubai and Kabul always amazes me. Its going from one extreme to another; extreme poverty to extreme wealth.

Getting off the plane and leaving the airport the humidity slaps you across the face. By this time I have already stuffed my headscarf deep in my bag and am thankful I opted to wear linen pants. I may look like a wrinkled mess but they aren't sticking to me.

Getting a taxi at the airport in Dubai is one of the most organized processes that I have ever observed/participated in. As you walk out the exit for taxi's, you are ushered into a well formed line. There are line markers which prevent crowding, like in an amusement park. As you look ahead you can see dozens of taxis all in a line waiting. When you reach the front of the line, a uniformed man directs you to your taxi. As one taxi pulls away the next one drives up to take the next person. It really is efficient and moves pretty quickly. Which is nice because this time of year, standing outside side feels a little like you are melting.

This time we were directed to a "Ladies Taxi." It was the cutest thing. I've never seen this before. The lady taxi driver, was standing near her taxi talking with another women who worked for this cab company. Both were wearing a pink and white uniform. The cab instead of being like a yellow cab in the States, was pink and white. It was adorable.

The women explained that the company has been around for the last several years and is now up to fifteen drivers. It wasn't clear from her explanation (I had a hard time understanding her accent) but I think the cars are only used to transport women. It's an interesting concept. I remember when I was in Egypt there were women only subway cars. It seems like a safer way to travel but I wonder if feminists all over the world will think this is a set back for women's rights. But I can tell you, this service would be a hit in Kabul.

Keep Smiling!

De-Mining

A few weeks ago there was a hand grenade found on the property of the hospital. It was in the back, near the area we are going to renovate to be our fistula hostel. It was a little disturbing to think that I had recently been walking in that area. We have no way of telling if it was new or if it has been there for years. With the history of this country who knows.

Not only did this delay the renovations but we had to find someone to come and make sure we didn't have any more unexploded devices on the property. Again, a little disturbing but I guess this is normal when you are working in a war-torn country.

We followed the typical process and put the project out to bid. Three company's gave us estimates and we selected one. After we selected a company, they offered to do the work for free, as a donation. That was real blessing since this project was not something we had budgeted for.

When the guys showed up it was a little like the movie "Hurt Locker." They blocked off the area and went about their business. It took 4 days and they found another grenade, some unexploded small arms and an unidentified device. They didn't find any mines and based on the history of the area they didn't expect to. We will be fencing off the area that has not been done and putting up signs that the locals will recognize. These signs will say that beyond this fence the area may have mines or unexploded devices. For now they put blue rocks out to mark the area. Again, these rocks the locals will recognize that the area beyond them may not be safe.

The project didn't impact hospital operations much. The supply shed is near the area that they were de-mining so when they guys were working (6a-2p) we were not allowed in the supply shed. Aside from that, life went on as usual. If finding grenades at work can be considered normal?

Keep Smiling!!

2nd Visit to the Club

I went to cigar club at the Embassy again. This time it was a more formal meeting. The Chaplin still wasn't there so another gentleman opened the meeting in prayer. After the prayer, new members were introduced (I have not joined) and then they explained the cigar of the day. The only thing I remember about it was the cigar wrapper was made in CT.

There was a lesson on humidors. I learned that humidors shouldn't be placed in the garage, basement or attic because the temperature fluctuates to much. Its best to keep your humidor in your house. After the lesson there was a raffle. I bought five tickets just for fun. The prizes were lighters, cigars, a cigar carrying case and the grand prize was a mini-humidor. Turns out I won -twice!! The first time I won a cigar called a Monti-crisco. I about died it was so funny. They called my number and I cried out "Oh my God." The guys I was with were laughing. They laughed even harder when I won the second time and it was the cigar carrying case.

Well now I have a case for my one cigar. I did promise the guys that maybe on my last day in country I'd try the cigar I won. For now one of the guys has it in the humidor he had shipped over.

Keep Smiling!!

My Burka and me

When I first arrived, someone mentioned that I should get a burka. After almost a year, I finally got around to getting one. They have to be specially made, with specific fabric. The shop measures your head and your height. From what the shopkeeper said, I’m pretty tall. I guess I never noticed but I am taller then most of my female staff. Most of the burka's in Kabul are blue, occasionally I'll see a white one. I'm not sure if the color is significant.

I have only worn the burka around my flat, figured I needed to practice walking in case I ever have to wear it. There is a mesh square that you look out of and I find it difficult to see. I have no peripheral vision. I have to wear my ponytail at the nape of my neck so the burka fits properly on my head. In the warm evening air, it’s hot to wear. I can’t imagine what its like during the middle of the day. Nor can I imagine what it's like to have to wear one or you can't leave the house.

Even though it’s only around my flat, I feel uncomfortable wearing it. Maybe even a little invisible? Walking around the hospital I see many women wearing them. I can’t tell if they are looking at me but I always try to smile and say hello to them. I want them to know that I see them. I imagine that they are smiling back but I suspect maybe they are wondering who the crazy foreigner is saying hello to them.

Keep Smiling!

Cigar Club

A few of the guys I have met here invited me to cigar club. I don’t smoke but figured it would be fun to check out. Plus this meeting was at the US Embassy and I have never been there.

The Embassy grounds are beautiful. After getting through all the security checks, we walked through what could have been any small town in America. They call the houses “hooches,” they are essentially containers. Each container has its own heater/air-conditioning unit and inside there are sleeping quarters, a bathroom, living room and small kitchen area. In front of each container there is a tree, a small patch of grass and some flowers. Walking to the gazebo where the club met was like walking through a small neighborhood. I wish we were allowed to bring camera's inside because those images are unseen in this city. No grass, few trees and no sidewalks.

Cigar club was almost exactly what you would expect; a group of men sitting in lawn chairs smoking cigars and chatting. The only things missing were a grill and a keg. If it wasn’t for the cigar smoke, you could have smelled the testosterone, LOL.

This wasn’t a typical meeting because everyone had been on lockdown due the Peace Jirga. Usually they give out the cigar of the day and provide information on the type of cigar and other misc information. It would have been interesting to learn a little more about cigars. There was no raffle either. But they did pray, which surprised me.

I was embarrassed when we arrived because they introduced me as a nurse and there was some comment about bringing a nurse to cigar club. In general everyone was nice and it was a fun afternoon. The guys I was with are in law enforcement or are attorneys and I enjoyed hearing about their jobs.

If I’m invited back, I’d go again.