Answering the question “do I feel safe?” is a complicated one. I have spent almost six months in country and if I am counting correctly there have been four “major” events in that time. In some ways I’ve become cynical as I try to cope with the fluid security situation. However I am starting to wonder if maybe I have become like the frog in the pot of hot water and I’m not noticing that the water is starting to boil. When I talk to folks who have been in country for a lot longer then me they say this is status quo, one event every other month or so. I think they mean for this to be reassuring.
Now when I made the decision to come, I was as aware as one could be about the security situation. In pre-field training they encouraged us to decide ahead of time what situations would cause us to evacuate. I gave it some thought but didn’t develop a list of what that would look like. Maybe foolishly I figured I’d just know when it was time.
With each event I wonder, “Is this the event that will send me home?” Today was the first time I actually felt and heard the impact of an explosion. I’m not sure I can articulate the sound or describe what it felt like. I was sound asleep and woke up with a start to a terribly loud boom. Then it was followed by an eerie moment of nothing. Within seconds I was out of bed, putting on clothes and shoes I could run in if I needed to. We headed to a room with no windows and waited. We waited for about an hour.
Everything is back to normal except we are on lock down for the rest of day. Left to go about doing things inside and “the travel situation will be re-evaluated tomorrow.”
So here I am, wondering, “do I feel safe?” Today even after what happened, I can say yes. Not as confidently as I would have yesterday but I don’t think this one will send me home.
